Mindfully Recharged with Mariana Thomas

How to Prioritize and Manage Self-Improvement "Part 2"

November 11, 2021 Mariana Thomas Season 4 Episode 43
Mindfully Recharged with Mariana Thomas
How to Prioritize and Manage Self-Improvement "Part 2"
Show Notes Transcript

When we are inspired, it is easy to start an ambitious goal. But when the going gets tough, and it sure will be, it’s not that easy to follow through. So how do we not let our dream just be dreams?

In this episode, I talk about how to follow through with our goals when the high of the inspiration pass through and the hardship of realities settles in. I share what it takes to keep the fire burning and enjoy the journey every step of the way.

Listen to this episode and let’s make your spark continue to burn bright.

Episode 43 at a glance…

  • Reasons why some people remain where they are instead of striving for greatness.
  • The importance of the small steps.
  • Roadmap and its contribution to the journey.
  • Why taking breaks will make you more productive.
  • Living life, moment by moment.
  • Take time to reconnect with reality.
  • A different kind of taking inventory.
  • My story of perfectionism and why you don’t need it.

See you on the next episode!

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Hello, hello, welcome everyone to the mindfully recharge podcast with your host, Mariana Thomas, and today's episode, part two of how to prioritize and manage self-improvement. Okay, let's get to this episode. Let's not waste any time so we can finish what we started. Okay, without further ado, let's get to it.


Welcome to mindfully recharged with Mariana Thomas, in this podcast Mariana brings you mindful conversations and people that will develop and recharge you from the inside out so that you can increase productivity in your personal and professional life. This is mindfully recharged.


Hello, everyone, welcome to part two of how to prioritize and manage self-improvement. Let's get to this episode. Let's continue with what we started last episode. Okay, so the next point about how to prioritize and manage self-improvement is why your dreams are just dreams? I know, you're probably asking yourself, "What are you talking about?" So here it is, when you set an ambitious goal, it is easy to feel inspired. Okay, so you're dreaming at this point. But the high, you know, sometimes doesn't last forever. But the secret is that you are only taken a small step towards your dreams. And these are usually enough to get us fired up. Okay, so especially when we were hoping for more, or we're just we just thrilled about it.


So think about what happens when we learn a new skill, we get excited at first, right? And then our motivation, just kind of levels of because we had at the top of this assignment, okay, which makes us even less likely to improve, because there is no longer such a big gap, right? So you are dreaming, you had this huge gap. But then you do get this assignment because you are kind of accomplishing, then you feel like the gap is not there anymore. So between where we currently are, and where we want to be, that is what I'm talking about that gap in between. So we become very complacent content with where we are now, rather than pushing ahead with an ultimate destination in mind. And that's what happens because we attach to the outcome we attach to the destination versus attaching ourselves to the process to the journey. Okay, so why dream or just dream, that's what it means to get away. 


When it comes to self-improvement. Yes, we got a dream, you got to dream big. But don't attach yourself to the destination of that dream. attach yourself to the process. This is one of the reasons why many people are happy to remain where they are. And instead of striving for greatness, okay, because it's easier and less risky. And, you know, give us a reason not to feel bad about ourselves. So, what's wrong with that? Hey, the problem is, as usual, the long-term outlook you know, what is the long-term outlook that's, that's, that's we are going to feel really bad about ourselves. Right? Because we are not pursuing our dream. So if you have a big dream, but are willing to take steps towards achieving them, then you will never change your life for the better, no matter how much potential you had. So let's not focus on a destination one more time, but focus on the more steps that you are taking to get there. Okay, so the journey.


Yeah, so well, it might be nice to imagine living happening after ever, you know, you attaching yourself to that final destination. And our own little dream world, you know that we get in, it isn't going to happen without some effort on your part. So taking those small steps is crucial. So this means treating each day, like an experiment. Okay, we are trying different strategies until we find one, which works well enough that we can keep doing it. So remember what I told you about my challenge that I do for a few years now they want help the other day, right is taking those smallest steps as we build our habits, so we can continue doing them. So the smaller the better, because this is how you prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed.


This is why I created this challenge, you know, and we become overwhelmed by a big change, which feels like a, like a huge and manage more or manage, you know, you can't manage what you're doing we only deceased decision that you may when it comes to making changes, or creating habits or taking steps towards your dreams and your goals. So you don't need to make a complete 180 degree, okay, and kind of overwhelmed your lifestyle overnight. And instead, I want you to take tiny steps towards self-improvement day after day into reaching your destination. So it doesn't sound so scary anymore. Okay, so you are now worried about oh my god, I haven't accomplished my dream or my goal yet. So it's tiny, small steps.


Okay, the next one, I call it. We all need roadmaps. Okay. So it's almost like having that GPS in your car. So you're gonna have this GPS in your head. So going back to the dreams, analogy, and that was just an analogy for a moment. What do you actually expect to happen? You know, Will everything be perfect as soon as you reach your goal, or there are likely to be more downsides along the way. For example, imagine that you are physically fit but have social anxiety when taken to str... Oh, I mean, when talking to strangers. Okay, so talking to strangers is a concern for you. Okay, you're very physically fit, but you're very shy. What kind of impact will have would that have on your life? Would you be happy? Or sad? A body?


The reality, okay. It's something we can't change no matter how much we would like to. And this is why we need a roadmap, which tells us what to expect, either good or bad, right? And instead of focusing on the destination alone, so that's the roadmap, that's the steps that I'm talking about. That's the process. That's the journey. Okay? Because roots don't always make sense. You know, so there's, there are some times when you're traveling in your car, and you take it route, and you're like, where is this going? You know, I don't recognize this road. This kind of doesn't look right. You know, and it doesn't make sense to you. But they show us where we have been right and where we are going. So there is no point getting upset about it.


So sometimes, you know when I get on a road lay down like okay, I haven't been here before, but guess what you actually had because if you went to that road before you were there. So what is the point of getting upset because you don't remember that you are there? So what matters most is having a plan in place. And instead of kind of wandering around without any clear direction, which makes it too easy for distractions, okay, on your progress, this also prevents us from making short decisions. So it's short, a sudden decision. Because once we know what's possible, then the picture looks very defined, compare with, with, you know, with the fantasy world that we make, like the dreams that I was talking about, where we can go wherever, maybe when I was imagining that I was Superwoman, oh, Wonder Woman when I was a little girl, why. And I used to watch that show many times, and I will circle around in my living room, like I was going to convert into a Wonder Woman, well, that was definitely a dream.


So we got to get those things out of the way and really get into reality. Okay, so get the _____ goals out of the way. And it started comparing yourself because I was really comparing myself with Wonder Woman, you know, but and I didn't have a roadmap to get there. Okay, so now that I know. So roadmaps, make it easier for me to map out how far we had come right, or how far we're going and what needs to be done for you to make to move forward. And for ours to move forward. The roadmaps also take into account that there is still a long way to go before reaching the end, nine, or the end of the line. And that's very important to remember, life really isn't always fun. And I hope that you recognize that, but progress is very achievable if you are willing to change your perspective and focus on one step at a time. And instead of everything, okay, which lies ahead, which will only introduce or induce is stress in your life. And what is the point there?


Life is like crossing a desert, the further you get, the more likely you are to get tired. And do so you have to take breaks, okay, and taking breaks becomes very essential. Okay, that's why the burnt-out situation they will talk about so many times, right? is a reminder of slowing down and taking one step at a time. So even though this moment might not seem like much fun at the time, you know, when you take breaks, they give you the chance to recalibrate your mindset so that you can push forward a little bit longer if you need to, if it's necessary. So you don't stay stuck and burn out situation. But taking those small steps and taking that break is important.


Okay, the next thing is oh, this is so good, because I love this one leaving the moment to moment. Whenever we are feeling overwhelmed, going back again to the burned-out, okay, which is very important to remember when we are self-improving. You know, so fear so whenever you feel overwhelmed by what lies ahead because you're thinking about that destination remember you thinking about that roadmap and in this step by step, but somehow you start thinking about the end in mind. It is important to remind yourself, that life is lived moment by moment. Every single day tells its own story. In trying to predict how long this tale will continue it is impossible is really, in South Sudan, there are too many variables in all, you can't even keep up with it. You don't control the events, which take place every single moment. But you always had the option are changing how they affect you. Even if only on a smaller scale at first.


Okay, so taking those moments by moment, life moments, forget they're even the overdoing are the same word, but it is true is just slowing down in living moment by moment. This is low change and self-improvement. If you are one of those there's running all the time, this is going to represent an underline, a dent throughout your life, no matter who we are, or where we find ourselves, either physically or emotionally. There is room for growth, always. And improvement. We can always change and we can always change our perspective. Okay. The same thing applies to relationships. Because guess what it is part of our improvement or part of self-improvement. Problems in anything else, which seems like a big deal in the beginning aren't turning to anything more than a small bump in the row. Right? When you start taking your life, moment by moment.


And provided that you are willing to be flexible and adaptable when you think about this one, okay? Because it's very easy to forget and very easy to start running around in and getting in a hurry and, and not trying to slow down because you want to get there quick enough. It is really is like walking around with blinkers. You know, so you see, what's directly in front of you. So everything was bigger than it really is until you take things off. Okay? So you take them off. So don't keep the blinkers on all the time. I can better judge things, okay, you can just think from a different angle. And instead, when you feel like you had to keep those blinkers on, don't judge yourself, just slow down, and keep taking moment by moment.


This isn't meant to feel like it's a hardship. Okay? Sometimes when people slow down, they take life moment by moment. It can feel like a hard thing to do. And it's a hard change. It is not which we rather be feeling that way. We need to feel like we are changing events in our life by having to slow down. Just that easy. Because seriously, when feeling overwhelmed by something is not a fun thing is really not. So the point is that no matter how bad things are when you feel that way. There will never be as terrible as you think. As you approach them for a new perspective and instead of zooming that the world has already happened. Okay. Then you are going to feel completely different because negative emotions are often based on fear and make us imagine future in scenarios, which may or may not happen, right? It makes us imagine things that are not here yet. But no matter how likely they look in the moment, there's always another side to the story, another side to consider. So it pays to stop and take a breath, before making any rash decision. And I have been there, you guys have been there where you're rushing, you're overwhelmed, and you have to make a decision, and you made that decision in the rush. And instead of slowing down, and taking your time. The next thing is, be realistic, and be flexible. This is really important. You know, sometimes we're a little too uptight, in our minds, you know, when I used to teach so much yoga, and now just online. I used to tell my students, it's not just about becoming flexible in your body, but it's also becoming inflexible in your mind. And in your thinking, and your mindset, and your decision making. That is where flexibility really shows up. How really fit and flexible are you.


So ever set out for a destination, only to realize that your map is slightly misleading. Okay? So have you ever done that? Or you take a different path without noticing until too late? Hmm, and then you're like, I'm stuck maybe. So more often than not, this is not an intentional attempt to sabotage your progress and is simply the result of life happening in real-time in the path you take, now being 100% Correct. It is important not to get too upset about these moments. Because guess what they are going to happen? They are going to happen to you. Because this is life. This is life. We are human beings living on a dynamic planet where you appear on the millions of different laws because quite frankly, there are too many things happening every second for us. And we can control all of them. We can know this is a fact. We should expect the same kind of deviation from our goals whenever something unexpected happens because that's just how it goes.


And that's it. It goes despite what anyone else tries to tell us or to tell you. Right? The issue is that way. And sometimes it might sound like an excuse. But getting upset over every little setback makes no sense. Okay, because there's so much they can go they can be wrong. They can you know, go wrong. Before we can even notice one thing going wrong always on? Yes. So sometimes things are going wrong without we even notice. So the truth is that our expectations are always realistic. Because we don't know enough about what's happening in the future. We don't know enough to be able to pinpoint exactly when things will go wrong. Then more often than not it is how we perceive this event is how you are going to perceive the events in your life which decide whether there will be a problem for you all now. It's all about perspective, my friends. If someone cuts you off while you are driving. Okay, your life will actually be over. If you let yourself believe that this isn't a problem, or this is not important for you. Right? When for you this idea it is. And that's a completely different story. Or you can just continue on your way, as everything comes down again, and then you can think about it. But there is an example for you. You had the choice to make that decision. Okay.


Okay. The last thing is taking the time to reconnect with reality, when it comes to self-improvement, okay, we have to connect with reality, you can't live in an unrealistic world. So as I said earlier, there are millions of factors involved in every outcome. So blaming a specific moment for reading our progress makes no sense. Hmm. So we have to reconnect with reality. Not only we are acting like we know more than we actually do. Right, and you know what I'm talking about because we usually do that. You know, about what's happening around us. So that we are also assuming that there won't be any other negative thing waiting for us down the road down the line. So we always have to anticipate, okay, if this happens to you, and you spend time worrying about it. And instead of taking a step back, and learning from your mistakes, so they can't happen again. Okay, so just taking that step back and slow down, again mentioned earlier, okay. It's really important. This is an especially big problem, you know, this is really not. But I want you to think about it, I want you to think about this, this part of being realistic, and reconnecting with reality. Okay, very, very important point here. So just listen to this twice if you need to. But there is an is there as an especially big problem. And it's really not, it's really not a problem. It's just a thought here are connected with reality, always. Why that gets to my point of getting out of your head.


You know, when it comes to self-improvement, we have to take an inventory. And not that the kind of inventory you're thinking about. I'm talking about taking an inventory of your thoughts and trying to figure out which ones aren't helpful in the long run. Many of this will be connected with fears about what might happen next. Worst case scenario, which could really happen, but probably one, or definitely one, depending on how much power you give to them. I say this, because if you are in your head, and you're given a lot of power, well, that's not a good thing. And all the ways we tried to make sense of burnable moments, we can never really fully understand or change. So we have to get out of our heads. Once you have figured this out like it's gonna take some time, you may need to work with someone like a coach like myself, right? It becomes easier to see why you shouldn't let yourself believe these things, no matter how certain you feel about it. Okay, it's is really hard sometimes to get out of your head and not to believe the things that you are believing for no reason.


So, in short, this might mean that we will get the exact opposite sometimes what we want or need but most likely, you can just expect what you had is telling you to it's the head. So, getting out of your head is the goal. The goal here isn't to turn every little setback into a positive experience you know because things are not always that way. But getting out of your head is important because, in order to totally avoid the fact that things can be problematic in the future, or in the presence of things that are not really going to happen, you gotta get out of your head. So the best way to handle deviation from your expectations you know, because you are in your head is by keeping an open mind and learning from your mistakes and instead of letting them define who you are or how far you can go which means trying your best but also understanding that expecting perfection is asking for disappointment because let me tell you a perfection doesn't exist. I am a recovering perfectionist and is not fun, you know when I was really making myself sick with the imperfect is actually very devastating because it doesn't make you happy. You know, trying to be a perfectionist and so trying to be perfect trying to appear perfect. It's a lot of work is a lot of work and it can make you really unhappy. I remember I used to get out in the morning very early on early riser always been. Now I just gonna take it easy as they call it my corporate job but I remember that I will not leave my house without making my bed and it's just something that I can not just do just to let go and get out of the house and go do whatever I needed to do I just felt like I needed to make my bed and a military way perfect. No lines no wrinkles, absolutely perfect, and the house needed to stay super organized super clean obsessively okay. And one day I felt like I'm used to the state of feeling that way you know feeling like I need to do all these things perfectly. And I decided to start getting up by just leaving the house without making the bed. Guess what? The freedom that I felt was amazing. So now once in a while, I don't make my bed and just let go I just nothing is going to happen. The answer to what is going to happen if you hadn't made my bed is nothing. Nothing is going to happen. So whenever I feel like I don't want to make my bed whenever I feel like I don't want to do something I just don't. So perfection doesn't have me anymore. I control perfection. I control myself for now. I am out of my head with the thought that I have to be perfect because perfection doesn't exist so get out of your head my friends.


So I hope that this episode inspires you. And it helped you in some way. So sharing with others will make one extremely happy person and I'm talking about myself. It would make me extremely happy if you share this episode. If you leave a review with a five-star and a good review, by the way, that will be amazing. So thanks again, for all your support, and stay safe out there my friends. I'm going to see you in the next episode. And I cannot wait. So bye-bye.


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