How to Boost Your Self-Esteem with Self- Compassion.

Mariana 0:00   

Hey, hey, hey, welcome everyone. This is your host, Mariana Thomas, and you are listening to the Mindfully Recharged podcast. Today's episode is about how to boost your self-confidence. Super excited to bring this topic to you because it has helped me a lot. So, without further ado, let's get to it. 
 

Intro Speaker 0:32   

Welcome to Mindfully Recharged with Mariana Thomas. In this podcast, Mariana brings you mindful conversations and people that will develop and recharge you from the inside out so that you can increase productivity in your personal and professional life. This is Mindfully Recharged.  
 

Mariana 0:53   

Hey everyone, I’m super excited about this episode, because I am that type of person that has grown tremendously. I started my personal growth journey, as you remember, basically at the age of 16. So don't forget to listen to Episode One, two, and three, where I go deeper into my journey since I was a little girl. And one of the things that have been very important for me, is to boost my self-confidence. Because as you remember, I lost my mother, if you’ve listened to those episodes, I’m not going to tell you the whole story. So, you can go and hear it, or listen to it. I lost my mother when I was 13, and many other things that have happened throughout my life. So, as I think about it, without me being intentional about boosting my self-confidence, I would not be where I am. And I would not be able to help others to do the same, especially to put themselves first. You know, putting yourself first is about self-confidence as well. When you don't have self-confidence, you don't take care of yourself the same way. You don't think about yourself or if you are worthy of love or health or anything coming your way. So, I'm going to ask you to take a moment and think about how you treat yourself. You know, when you make a mistake, or you fail, or you reach a goal, if you tend to beat yourself up, when things go wrong, maybe you didn't reach that goal. You know, I have been there. I remember when I was in my corporate job. And with, you know, the end of the month, and it was time to reach that big goal that I always had, I felt really small when I was thousands away, or maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars away from my regional goal. I didn't feel this confidence as all the people that were already there. So, I was beating myself up, I was thinking less about myself. So, one of the things that I wanted to ask you is, can you use a little more self-compassion in your life? Think about it, ask yourself that question. Can I use a little more self-compassion in my life? And I bet you that the answer is yes. Just like it was for me. So, forgiving and nurturing yourself seems to have benefits in their own right. If you think about it, strong self-compassion can even set the stage for better health, better relationships, and our general well-being. Even researchers have revealed a number of benefits of self-compassion. You know, it can lower your cholesterol, it can lower levels of anxiety or depression. It has even been observed in people with higher levels of self-compassion. You know, it can boost them even more. People recognize when they are suffering or unkind to themselves at this time, especially. How are we treating ourselves? How are we being aware of our own levels of anxious living and depression? 
 

5:33   

You know, that's a question that we need to ask ourselves. So, in today's episode, I'm going to give you four ways to give yourself self-compassion and boost yourself up. Okay. The first one is to comfort your body. You probably asking yourself, do I put a blanket on me? Yeah, maybe that's what your body needs. So yes, that will be a way of comforting your body. Something as simple as that. Or maybe eating something healthy. You know, just like laying down to rest makes us feel good. Maybe a massage on your neck, on your feet, or your whole entire body. And by the way, you can massage yourself. Maybe you can go for the run, or for a walk in the park. Anything that you can do to improve how you feel physically, or mentally, that's going to give you self-compassion. It’s going to boost you up. So that's the first thing: how my body feels, and what is my body asking me right now. So that's your first step. The second one is and I was thinking about this one the other day when someone mentioned, “inner child”, and I immediately went into that time when I was hiding from my dad. And again, you got to listen to those three first episodes to know exactly what I'm talking about. I didn't grow up with my mom and dad together. And so, every time my dad was coming to visit, I will make myself sick physically and mentally, like my mind would tell my body basically to “Hey, it's time to get sick, get into bed”. You know, head shields, don't want to get up. Those are the things that I was telling myself and that's “inner child”- things that sometimes return to us and bring us down. So, one way that I have found to have self-compassion is to write a letter to yourself, you know, maybe write a letter to yourself. Think about that situation that caused you pain. You know, whatever that situation was. For me was that I didn't have my dad all the time with me when I was a little girl. And it was until later, right? That I spent more time with him. Maybe for you, it’s a breakup with a boyfriend or someone, or maybe it's not your dad maybe it's your mom. Maybe it's your job - you lost your job. Or you give a presentation or you had a conference and you needed to speak and it did not go the way it was supposed to be. Whatever that situation may be, when you know that you are feeling down about yourself…describe it, write it down. But the most important thing that you need to do here is not to break yourself or anyone. 
 

9:53   

This point is about exercising our feelings. So, you do this exercise to nurture that situation, not to judge, or to blame anyone for it. Because you will not get anywhere, okay, you're just going to stay in that circle. This is about releasing that feeling and letting go and making peace with it. And by doing that, you are boosting your self-compassion, you will feel much better. Because even if that person that you're writing about with that situation is not there in the present moment, you're writing to it, you’re speaking to it. And it's making you feel much better. Because it's now not in your body, or in your mind, you just released that for you. And that's a beautiful feeling. And now the third one, which I hope will help is to get yourself encouragement. You know, sometimes, and I'm guilty of this, I have to remind myself several times when you do something once again, and you tell yourself, “Well, that wasn't as good as I thought.” Or, “I’m wondering what you're thinking of me? What are they going to say? Are they judging me? What are they thinking about me?”, and all these thoughts, and all these chitty-chatting in your mind. But at the end of the day, you are making those stories, and on the other side, nothing is happening. So, when you think of what you will say to a good friend if he or she was facing a difficult and stressful situation, and when you find yourself in this kind of situation, direct these compassionate responses to your own self. So, if someone comes to you and says, “Hey, Andrea, you know, I did this presentation, or I had a conversation with my daughter, oh, whatever… I don't think it went well.” What would you say to that friend? You will try to be compassionate to that person. So, when you feel the same way, say the exact words or even better, to yourself, “hey I did my best”, or “good for you”, “at least you spoke, at least you took care of yourself. At least you took the time to do this or that”. Always remember that.

13:25
And the final tip, my friends, is the practice of mindfulness. And mindfulness can mean something different for you than it means for me. But for me, it’s the moment of awareness where I don't judge myself or others. And it can even be when you take a quick exercise, or you meditate. You sit down in meditation with all those thoughts and feelings, and then you know, thinking about what's the next thing that you got to do on your to-do list. And you start judging yourself because you are taking time to be still. That's a moment of awareness. “Oh, I'm aware that I'm thinking about this. And I’m judging myself for taking care of myself”. That is practicing mindfulness. The most important thing is to recognize what's happening, to allow it to happen, and to investigate where it's coming from. And then nurture that, and let it go. Another way of practicing mindfulness is to go to nature and to be at peace with yourself, to observe, to be aware of the sounds, to be aware of your breath, to be aware of the passing of people and cars, or whatever is there in nature. And another way that I'm going to give you is when you hear things from other people, where does your mind go, do you judge right away? Do you think, why are they saying that? Or do you sit still, listen, observe, take a breath and just recognize that it is not about you. Because what happens here is that when you start judging, and you forget to practice that mindfulness of not being judgmental, you’re taking that vibration to yourself, you're making the judgment. And maybe you're not only being judgmental, maybe you have a little bit of jealousy, or anger or whatever feeling comes your way. You're hurting yourself first before you even hurt the other person or the situation. So having self-compassion, and practicing mindfulness, in this case, that's our last tip is to make sure that you're not judging a situation or a person. That’s not just for the other person, but the first person is you. Because this first person you're going to hurt by whatever feeling comes your way is you. You are going to hold on to that feeling. And that is not self-compassion, that is torture to yourself. That is being unkind to yourself. So, practicing mindfulness is our last point. Okay, I hope that helps.  

18:07 

And I'm going to repeat the points, dear friends, so you can go back to them, remember them and practice them. And so sorry that I'm mumbling a little bit today, but I just sat in a conference for four hours. So, I'm a little bit tired. So just to let you know, but here are the four ways of giving yourself self-compassion:  

1. Comfort for your body.  
2. Write a letter to yourself or to your inner child.  
3. Give yourself encouragement. Encourage yourself. This is the one that I love doing.  
4. And the last one, practice mindfulness.  

And remember, mindfulness doesn’t have the same meaning for everyone, but it is basically the same thing if you are aware of what mindfulness truly is. So, with that, my friends, go out in the world with self-compassion and make sure you give it to yourself first. And with that, I’ll see you in the next episode, and I can't wait. So have a fantastic day, night, wherever you are in the world. Love you. Sending you love and light. See you in the next episode. Bye. 
 

Closing 20:00 

Thank you for listening, everyone. And don't forget to go to the show notes and click to download your free Mindful and Energetic Living Guide. Also, don't forget to share this podcast with your friends, families, and everyone up there. I want to get this out there to everyone. So, thank you for your support, and I'll see you next week.