Don't Make Easy Things Hard

Mariana 0:01  

Hey guys, welcome back. This is Marianna Thomas, your host. And in this episode I am back with my friend is Steve Simpson, I invited Steve to come back, and co-host another episode with me. We titled this episode - “Don't make easy things hard” And I really hope that this episode is awesome for you and that you share it with your friends with your families. And don't forget to go to the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. You're going to find some great things there. So our program is coming up and I would love for you to know what it's all about. Okay, so without further ado, let's get to the episode right now.

Intro Speaker  1:02  

Welcome to Mindfully Recharged with Mariana Thomas. In this podcast. Mariana brings you mindful conversations and people that will develop and recharge you from the inside-out so that you can increase productivity in your personal and professional life. This is Mindfully Recharged.

Mariana  1:23  

Welcome back, everyone. It is I don't even know what day it is today.

Steve  1:29  

Friday.

Mariana  1:30  

It’s Friday. Did you hear that voice you guys, I have Steve back. We are back.

Steve 1:40  

Back in demand.

Mariana  1:42  

Welcome by Steve. I can’t get rid of you.

Steve  1:46  

Happy to be here. It's always a pleasure to be with you.

Mariana  1:49  

I love it. Welcome back. Guys. I am so excited to be back again with Steve. And we are bringing a topic that is really, I think is really happening a lot right now. Right? In the middle.

Steve  2:08  

Yes. Yes.

Mariana  2:09  

Everything is happening is Steve and I were talking the other day you guys and we are just going straight into what's happening? Because

Steve  2:19  

Go right ahead.

Mariana 2:21  

Yes, we are not editing we are just turning on the microphone and talking to you guys literally Steve, is that what we’re doing?

Steve 2:29  

Definitely, we're just having a conversation and you guys just get to eavesdrop and listen in on it.

Mariana 2:34  

Exactly. Because we are not scripted. We are definitely not scripted. And that's the way I want it, that’s the way I want things to happen. So I was on the phone with Steve. So you guys know the back story. This topic? I was on the phone with Steve the other day. And were you driving somewhere?

Steve 2:56  

Yeah, I was driving actually.

Mariana 2:58  

You were driving somewhere and I was “Steve what's going on?” And I don't know where you're going, you were going to the office or…

Steve  3:06  

I could who knows where I was going? Sometimes not sure where I'm going.

Mariana  3:14  

And what happened is that somehow we ended out with things - hard and easy things. You know, like, why making things hard?

Steve 3:26  

Yeah, don't make easy things hard, that’s what I told Mariana.

Mariana 3:31  

Don't make easy things hard. And I went dang it. Okay. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about that. Because I'm all about results. And so for me, I just want it easy. Like, don't give me all the background, just give me the result. But we know that sometimes that's not the case that we should go right?

Steve  4:00  

No, definitely not. Yeah,

Mariana  4:02  

That's not the case. So it has a lot to do. And I was telling Steve, it has a lot to do with personality styles.

Steve 4:10  

No doubt. And that's very noticeable. If you interact with people very often, which I think most of us do because we're all human. Maybe a little bit different now with the COVID.

Mariana  4:24  

Yeah, so Steve, what is your personality style? I know I did an assessment on you.

Steve 4:30  

Yeah, I'm pretty laid back, you know, and you kind of know that.

Mariana 4:36  

Yeah.

Steve 4:39  

To a fault. I'm probably very even-keeled and I don't have a lot of emotional highs, lows ups, and downs. And if I was an EKG you know I'd probably be like a flatline I don't have like; I might have little blips, but not the big ones. You know.

Mariana 4:57  

Yes, I believe you would be an F, E, or C, something like that.

Steve  5:01  

Yeah.

Mariana  5:02  

This personality style and I'm a D, you guys. I'm a D or C so but my first characteristic is the D. So I want the results and Steve’s like, Okay, the F is good, I want to be, you know, I just want to be in harmony. But my F wants to be in harmony that my D doesn't like it. So you know, so it's that fight back and forth. So we, when we talk about don't make easy things hard - it’s so important, especially right now is because when we think about what's happening in our country, and in the rest of the world… A whole entire world back in a day, and it's been like eight months or whatever it is - just kind of went upside down. And when we think, things kind of got hard, or harder. But we can also look and see where things can be actually easier. Yes. You know, instead of making things hard, and just focus on what's hard right now.

Steve 6:28  

Definitely, I think that's one of the things that's happened. To add a thing to probably the majority of people as a result of COVID, the last six months is, is that we've simplified our lives a little bit. You know, it's just, you know, work and all your activities, all your hobbies, and everything that you were doing pre-COVID, everything. You're, busy constantly, constantly busy. And you know, not that you're not busy now, but I think we've slowed down a bit, taking a step back and, and been able to, you know, just kind of restructure our lives a little bit, the way we handle things and the things we choose to do with our time.

Mariana  7:14  

Exactly we choose that - I love that you chose, the word “choose”. Because when it comes to making things harder, or making things easier is a choice. You know, it is definitely a choice, you can choose to feel a certain way, or you can choose to make things harder or easier for you. No matter what was happening,  what happened, what's happening in the world. You know, for me when COVID-19 happened. I'm a D or C, so I am okay, with not being out there in the world. With millions of people. I just don't have an I personality where, you know, I just got to be the life of the party all the time. So for me, it was like, Oh, this is like, the way I live all the time. Do you know? Okay, welcome to my world, everyone. But, you know, it gets to the point where I want to, I want to get out. But when everything happened, I like a good D personality. I just went into action. So what I did, I created a Facebook group. I wanted to start adding value to my people. I wanted to take care of… My S personality wanted to take care of everyone. I wanted to make sure that everyone was doing well. So you were part of that group, Steve. I was there. I was in there teaching and you know, just motivating everyone every day and all that type of stuff. So for me, that was easy. Yes, that was easy, because that's who I am. And I was given my gift.

Steve  9:12  

And it was easy for me to see that that was easy for you and something that you enjoy doing

Mariana  9:18  

Exactly. That for some people that maybe don't have those skills, or gifts or whatever you call it. You know they have to do something like that and maybe hard to do if they chose to do that.

Steve 9:41  

Well yeah, getting in front of the camera or talking to a microphone is very debilitating for some people.

Mariana  9:49  

So it’s the choice. So what do you, what do I choose to do at this moment, based on what I have, right? So my choice was let’s get into action, this will add some value. And I'll tell you what, that was the most rewarding thing ever. That was so rewarding every day. I was just looking forward to getting there in to add value to my group. You know, it was just amazing for me. So that was easy. That was easy. What was hard for me was to see people struggling. You know, that was hard for me to see people struggling, and to know that they were making a choice to struggle.

Steve 10:40  

Yeah, that's what's really difficult when you see people like that, it's like, this is easy for you to get out of if you will just make a different decision. 

Mariana  10:53  

Make a different choice! Make a different choice. So yeah, there were even people that, you know, just left Facebook, or whatever it was, because they can’t take things they were already doing or saying. And what I say in that situation is to make a choice. You can either pay those people out of your, you know, fee, or mute them. You know, Facebook has some great options. And when I discovered that I was like “Allelujah!”

Steve  11:31  

Yeah. Allows options for that.

Mariana 11:34  

Exactly. So you can make your life easier. If you choose to do so.

Steve  11:41  

Yes.

Mariana 11:42  

You know, if you choose to do so. But if you come with a position of struggle, you come with a position of hard, then it's good to be in a struggle, and it's gonna be hard.

Steve  11:57  

Yes. You know, life has enough challenges without self-inflicting anymore on yourself.

Mariana 12:04  

I mean, life is hard as it is right. Yes. Is life hard, really?

Steve  12:10  

No, I think I think the basics of life. I mean, as a concept, it's very simple, you know, but I think, you know, we as human and faulty people with our own faults and things, we mess things up for ourselves and for other people sometimes, by choices.

Mariana 12:31  

What just came to me is the I think is that we made things hard or easier, not only based on choice but also based on fear.

Steve  12:45  

Yes. And we've seen a lot of fear in the last few months.

Mariana 12:48  

Exactly. So how much fear are you having? How much fear are you willing to let go? You know?

Steve 12:59  

To do that you got to identify your fears like, what is it you're afraid of?

Mariana  13:03  

Exactly. What are you afraid of? You know, Steve, and that brings me to what I was afraid of? I was afraid of putting myself out there. You know, I was afraid of doing a Facebook Live. I was afraid of having a podcast. You know, I was afraid.

Steve 13:26  

Here you are.

Mariana 13:28  

Yeah. I was afraid of judgment. And what people will say, of me, what people would think of me was, it wasn't until I realized that it doesn't matter. Because people are going to judge anyway.

Steve 13:48  

Yes, people will always judge regardless of what you do. Not that I'm endorsing that.

Mariana  13:56  

Exactly no we are not endorsing that. But it was my choice to continue it hiding. And to continue feeling fear. Right? And keeping my power away and making my life harder. Or just make everything go recognize what's happening. Recognize what's happening, allow it to happen, allow it to happen, nurture what's happening, and then let it go. Let it go and that is the word that I have to do in order to be here with you today. And I am so grateful that I chose to make things easier for me. And when I made that choice, Steve, it just felt like a huge wave just came off from my shoulders. And no matter what I put out there if I hear crickets, it means nothing to me.

Steve 15:08  

Yeah. And it shouldn't because you're doing what you feel like is your passion and your calling and you're enjoying it and whether people, you know how people respond to it, that's up to them.

Mariana 15:21  

And it should mean nothing to you, audience. Whoever is listening to this, please leave a review, by the way. But if

Steve 15:33  

She wants you to judge her show. That’s right.

Mariana 15:40  

But if you are hiding, please stop. It doesn't matter what you do, people are going to judge you. And it’s up to you to make that decision and to choose to let go of the fear of putting yourself out there in the world. Because the world needs you. The world needs our voice even if you have an accent like me. That's what I was afraid of. I was afraid that they're gonna judge that, you know what Steve, the who cares?

Steve 16:20  

That's right. 

Mariana  16:22  

Who cares? Audience, so if you are judging me right now, let me tell you, I'm at peace. It has taken some work to get there.

Steve  16:34  

Yeah. It does because it requires a lot of confidence. And again, you identifying what that fear was, and then working to overcome it, and then no longer worrying about that.

Mariana  16:46  

Yes, absolutely. So women, shine your light, men, shine your light. Stop hiding, whatever you are doing up there in the world do more. Do more. 

Steve 17:00  

You know, just talking about culture in the world. That's one of the things that I see that concerns me about culture now is how people are always talking about being offended, and not that you intentionally set out to offend people. I'm not talking about that. But so many people are like, “Oh, you know, I'm so offended because they said this, or they did that.” But the people that say that, really intend to hurt you by saying that? Or is that just how you're taking it?

Mariana  17:30  

Exactly.

Steve 17:32  

Are they even aware that you were offended?

Mariana  17:36  

They don't even that you were offended. They don't even know, they were going on with their life.  Yeah, we are making things harder for us.

Steve 17:44  

Exactly. Because some people will worry about that offense or series of offenses for years. And build their whole life around them.

Mariana 17:53  

Exactly. Exactly. And, and they go on with their lives. Who is looking at me? Oh, my God, whatever they're saying. Oh, did they see what I did? No, they didn’t. No, they didn’t. Yeah, you know, there are times they - I don't know if this has happened to you, Steve, but this time when you post something and no one comments in your stuff.

Steve  18:21  

Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, it happens to me.

Mariana 18:23  

And do I care? You guys, at this point in my life? I don’t.

Steve  18:31  

No.

Mariana 18:32  

I don't, you know, because I post it and I release it. It's okay. It's okay, guys, I put it out there, you know, to the world for the world to see it. And brave of me, putting myself out there with all the fear that I had before. And all the fear that you had - you listening to this podcast today, let go. Make things easier for yourself by not holding into what other people think of you.

Steve  19:12  

When you hold a grudge, you know, some people hold grudges. And I honestly think that's what happens a lot. When people say they're offended, they're not really offended, they're holding a grudge against somebody because they perceive that somebody did something to them. Or, and, but when you hold on to that, it doesn't impact the other person at all. It only impacts you. It kind of just eats - the longer you hold on to it, the more it eats away inside of you.

Mariana 19:40  

I agree. Agree and you feed all these stories inside yourself. They just keep you as a prisoner. You know, and bad energy and people think sometimes why they have bad health or, you know why? Why things are happening in their lives? It's all that bad energy that you're holding in.

Steve 20:07  

Exactly, yeah.

Mariana 20:08  

And that you don't deserve it, you don't deserve it. So like, let go clean yourself up. Clean yourself up.

Steve 20:16  

Because if you go around worrying about what people's perception of you is all the time, you'll never move forward in your life.

Mariana 20:27  

Oh, my goodness.

Steve  20:29  

I mean, again, going back to your comment about your accent, you know, and people, there are some people that may hold that against you or think or not think highly of you, because you're Latin American or whatever. But that has no bearing on who you really are and what you've accomplished, or what thought of that is. And do you want everybody to like you? Yes, but the truth is not everybody's gonna like you.

Mariana 20:56  

Right? And you know, one thing I heard one time, I don't know, you've probably heard this is that you're not a cup of tea for everyone.

Steve  21:07  

Right? Yeah, you're not everybody's cup of tea. Like how many flavors of tea are there. Everybody likes something different.

Mariana  21:16  

Like when you go to an ice cream shop? How many flavors of ice cream are there? Do we choose all of them? Yeah. Oh, do we choose vanilla, chocolate, whatever it is that you like? So you have the choice right to choose one flavor, or you can choose all the flavors.

Steve  21:37  

But if you just choose one or the other flavors offended?

Mariana 21:41  

Well, we'll see that happening a lot.

Steve 21:43  

That's right. Yeah.

Mariana 21:45  

But you know, one thing for me, you know, knowing that people judge and knowing that people depend on your ethnicity or whatever if they’re going to like you or not, I choose to like all the flavors. You know, I choose all the flavors. That's just what I choose.

Steve  22:09  

And that's good. Because it's like, it's like Martin Luther King said years ago. I've always loved this. He said: You should judge people on the content of their character, not the color of their skin.

Mariana 22:18  

Exactly.

Steve  22:20  

And, and I believe that's true about everything, not just the color of your skin, but just, you know, take your measure of a person based on who they are as people, not what ethnic group, they are not their accents, not their hair color.

Mariana  22:37  

And just think about this, Steve, when you only choose one or two flavors. You're actually making things harder for yourself. Yes, because in the back of your head, you're like, oh, I shouldn't try pistachios. You know, but I only chose chocolate. And you're thinking, can I go back? I'm gonna order pistachio. And they didn’t even choose chocolate that day. And you're thinking about chocolate? Or vanilla, or whatever. So that is the problem with only choosing one thing. And just choose them all. Right?

Steve 23:20  

You can do that. Especially with ice cream.

Mariana  23:24  

Especially with ice cream. I wanted people with all the flavors.

Steve  23:29  

That's right.

Mariana 23:30  

So for me, that makes my life easier because I just want to love everyone. When I have a situation that is black or white, for me, it's not you know, I have come to realize it's not black and white. It’s just somewhere in the middle. So I can find harmony. So that's what I do that made my life easier. So I don't go in either extreme, either black or white. Yeah.

Steve 24:06  

So there's there are some things in life that are black and white like yeah, you know if don’t pay your rent, you're going to get evicted. Yeah, that's but I think most things, the things that we, most things in life are are in the gray areas.

Mariana24:23  

Absolutely. 

Steve 24:24  

A lot of your daily living is yeah,

Mariana 24:27  

Yeah. daily living is you know, you can make that choice but you know, these days I just want to make it easier. I just want to make it easy. I want to make my road to whatever I go, make it easier, especially in these days, where everything is so easy for you. If you are finding something. Oh, my God if you don't find it. God, you didn't look hard enough.

Steve  24:55  

No, I agree. I agree.

Mariana 24:57  

You know. Everything has an answer these days.

Steve  25:02  

That's right. Yeah, if you can't Google it, you know, it's probably not out there.

Mariana  25:09  

Exactly. So there was something else that we had to say about not making things hard.

Steve  25:17  

We talked, you know, before we started recording the podcast about, you know, maybe just choosing what things you're going to stress over or worry about. And things that aren't worth worrying about.

Mariana 25:30  

Exactly. So when you think about you go in your daily life, you do your morning routine, which I will talk to you in another episode, about the morning routine, and you have your to-do list for the day. What are you going to choose? You know, you're going to make your day harder, or you're going to make your life easier? And more harmony, you know, so that basically is like, what do you choose to do every single day? And how you choose to feel? You know, heavy on lighter, right. So and we wrote something else. What was that, Steve?

Steve 26:13  

Um, I think it was, we said that you have to kind of have to pick and choose the things that you, you stress over because you can't worry about everything.

Mariana 26:28  

Yeah, choose your battles. So that brings me to an example with my daughter. My daughter is a C personality. So she's very detail-oriented. And, you know, when Covid 19 first started, she was here at home with me, and we were doing the grocery list, you know, every week, while she created it, spreadsheet.

Steve  27:05  

That’s a lot of work.

Mariana 27:06  

My D personality was like, “What?” And she was checking everything. So “Mom, how many apples do we have left?” And literally, she was going through and it was, you know, it was my choice. She's gonna drive me crazy. Coz I don't want to know all these details.

Steve 27:28  

Right, right. I just want to go buy some apples. 

Mariana 27:33  

It's like it doesn't matter, honey. She’s like, “No, no, I just want to know what I want to know, by the end of the week, how much food do we consume?” I mean, that was pretty interesting.

Steve 27:48  

That is interesting. So that's her personality. Again, as you said, it goes back to personalities earlier.

Mariana 27:55  

So it's like honey it’s okay. So I have to guard myself down. Am I going to fight with her or am I going to make my life easier? Well here, making her a little spreadsheet about everything that we are consuming. So I had to choose either I reply and say, you know, I respond with “honey, we have two left” or I could scream at her and say “Why are you asking for that?” You know, so I chose to be happier, to be happy, and to be lighter. I was like “This is how many without we have left, honey.” And that's my example of choosing, you know. 

Steve  28:45  

Definitely and it made her happier. And you avoided an argument potentially or some hurt feelings? Who knows, yeah?

Mariana  28:55  

Yeah. Now she finished school and she's out in the world being a grown-up and making probably spreadsheets every week, and that's fine.

Steve 29:05  

That's her thing. Let her do it.

Mariana 29:08  

But it's okay. You know, it made my life easier while she was here. So to summarize everyone, and I hope, I really hope that you are enjoying this conversation about making life easier, better than harder. And yeah. So it's really about choosing, it’s about what are you going to choose today? Are you going to be heavier or are you going to be lighter? Because being heavier means you cannot have a hard time walking with something heavy on your shoulders.

Steve 29:51  

Yes.

Mariana 29:53  

You know, than being lighter and having a better outlook of life. What is your take away, Steve?

Steve 30:05  

Well, my takeaway, and this is a quote I saw from John Wayne. It was attributed to John Wayne. Some people may not know who John Wayne is, but and it's not a politically correct quote, but it's, it's just funny, and it fit my sense of humor, so I like it. But he said, that “Life is hard. And it's even harder if you're stupid.”

Mariana 30:29  

Oh, my goodness. I love that. “Life is hard. It is even harder if you're stupid.” There you go you guys, that is our final takeaway. I love that, Steve. I love that. So remember, life is harder, it’s even harder if you're stupid.

Steve  30:53  

So don't be stupid. Don't make easy things hard and don't stress over the little things in life. Leave that worry for the big things.

Mariana  31:03  

And have some peace of mind. Have some peace of mind. Okay, my dear friend, thank you so much again. 

Steve  31:13  

Thank you again for having me, on another episode.

Mariana  31:17  

It has been a pleasure. And to you, audience, don't forget to tune in next week. And don't forget to check the show notes. Because you're Mindful Guide in Energetic Living coz I want you to stay energetic. And subscribe!

Steve  31:43  

She also wants you to stay living so you can listen to the podcast.

Mariana 31:47  

Please subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t. Show notes going there. And also share with your friends and family. I would love for you to do that. Also, don't forget to leave a review on iTunes and give us a five star right?

Steve 32:07  

That's right, for only five-star reviews are accepted.

Mariana 32:11  

That's right. Okay, everyone, have a fantastic day. And I'll see you next week. 

Hey guys, thank you for listening I hope that you enjoyed this episode. And before you go, I want to remind you about the free Mindful and Energetic Living Guide. I want to give this to you, so all you have to do is go to the show notes and find the link right there. And it will be right in your inbox okay, so make sure you do that and I will see you next week. Have a fantastic rest of the day, bye!