There's nothing wrong with being motivated by the things that we desire in life. It is exciting to reach our goals, live the life we've always dreamed of, and also live with contentment and happiness. However, our desires can also be connected to our suffering because of the frustrations and unhappiness that come with it. We need to find the balance between wanting something and being satisfied with what we have. Like in any recipe, when we have the right ingredients for our desires, we can achieve the best results.
In this episode, I define what desire is, discuss how our desires are connected to our suffering, and share the ingredients that one should have when it comes to desiring something.
Listen to this episode!
Episode 62 at a glance...
See you on the next episode!
Get your FREE "2022 Mindful Goal Guide" here:
Buzzsprout podcast link: http://mindfullyrecharged.marianathomas.com/
Visit my Website and subscribe to my mailing list!
7 Days of Healthy Habits Workbook
Follow me on Instagram!
Mariana Thomas 0:00
Okay, my friends welcome back to the Mindfully Recharged Podcast with your host Mariana Thomas, in today's episode, The Desire Ingredients. Yes, I can't wait to get to this episode. So without further ado, let's get to it. It's going to be awesome. I will see you there, my friends.
Speaker 2 0:29
Welcome to Mindfully Recharged with Mariana Thomas. In this podcast, Mariana brings you mindful conversations and people that will develop and recharge you from the inside out, so that you can increase productivity in your personal and professional life. This is Mindfully Recharged.
Mariana Thomas 0:49
Welcome back, friends. Today is going to be a great episode because, you know, sometimes you are reading something and it sparked something in you and that is exactly what happened. That is why I'm recording this episode. It was inspired by desire, and I was reading about desire the other day, and it was telling me that desire is really connected to suffering. It's attached to suffering. It really intrigued me. I say, okay, how can I connect desire with suffering? So here's what I discovered. The desire can be seen as a part of suffering because it often leads to frustration. Yes, it leads to frustration.
Mariana Thomas 2:02
So when I started going within, and asking myself this question, and really researched and investigated and talked about it, this is the result. Desire can be seen as a part of the frustration. Okay. Suffering, I will say, you know, as a part of suffering, because it leads to frustration because when we desire something, we are often not content with what we have or we always want more. Don't we? Yes. So, what does that say? Let me repeat this. When we desire something, we are often not content with what we have and we want more. This can lead to frustration and unhappiness.
Mariana Thomas 3:11
Another reason why desire can be seen as a part of suffering is because it often causes us to ignore the present moment. We are always living in the future. Think of that. We always want more, we're looking for that next thing, for that, what is up there that we don't know yet or that we don't have versus living and the now. We are so focused on what we want, that we forget to enjoy what we have.
Mariana Thomas 3:48
So desire is also very connected to our intention and so when I was reading, about desire, I was thinking about the intention that I said with my community every single morning. You know, I host a room at the Clubhouse. If you haven't heard of it, it's 6:15 am, eastern time, and we set our intentions for the day.
Mariana Thomas 4:20
So I was telling the people that comes to my room, I was like, "Do you know that desire is connected to suffering?", and my question was, "What is in your heart right now? What does your heart desire?" and "Did you know the three ingredients that you must have in order to desire. In order to really want that thing that you wish you're with right here right now?". You know, and when we don't have that thing, it can lead us to a lot of unhappiness. That's why we cannot be mindful when it comes to desiring something.
Mariana Thomas 5:12
And finally, desire can be seen as a part of suffering, because it often leads to attachment. We're going to go over the ingredients in a moment, and attachment is one of them. When we are attached to something, we become very emotional, if we lose that you know, if you have it, it's yours, nobody can touch it and then you lose it, and your emotions get involved. This can leave us with a lot of pain and a lot of suffering. So you can see how desire is so attached to suffering.
Mariana Thomas 6:04
So well, desire, can be seen as a good thing, right? Because we need to desire things. There's nothing wrong with that but it can leave us to also unhappiness. It can also be seen as part of suffering, as we just mentioned or I just mentioned. So that's why we need to be aware of the dangers of desire, and try to keep it under control.
Mariana Thomas 6:36
Let's talk about what desire is. So what is desire? Desire is a feeling that is created by what they want for something. Okay, it's created by the want for something. It can be something that you want in the present or something that you want in the future. So I want this right now or I want this in two years, three years, whatever the future is for you. That is desire.
Mariana Thomas 7:22
Desire can be also helpful, you know because it can motivate you to achieve your goals. When you desire something, you want to get the steps in place to get there. Right? So it motivates us to get to go, to reach for that thing that we desire. However, desire can also be harmful. Can be harmful. Yes, it can. It can cause you to feel frustrated and unhappy if you achieve those goals. So even though it can motivate us, it can also create frustration and unhappiness, if we don't get there. So it is important to find a balance between wanting something or being satisfied with what you have.
Mariana Thomas 8:30
This reminds me of one of the swamis that I visited when I was living in North Carolina. There was an Arshayoga that I used to go to, pretty much every two months or so, and I would spend a week or sometimes I would spend a weekend. There was a place that I visited many, many times and it felt fantastic and very peaceful. One of the questions that I asked this Swami was, "Is it okay for me to desire things and to want things?", and she answered, "There's nothing wrong with wanting things that you're needing.", and that was my drug for me at the moment. I was like, "Wow, I never saw it that way.". Yeah, I decided I want that thing but do I need it. Did I need it? Most of the time the answer is no.
Mariana Thomas 9:50
So yes, sometimes we want things and we really want them but do we need them or we are just attached to wanting something because we see other people with it, we see that they have, we see that they reach these huge, humongous goals, and we want to go after it. Do we need it? Do we really need it? That's a question that is very, very important to ask yourself.
Mariana Thomas 10:24
One way to find that balance that we just talked about, right, you got to find that balance between wanting something and being satisfied. So one way to find that balance is to set realistic goals. If your goals are too unrealistic, they're too high, they're too out of this world, then you will likely be frustrated when you don't achieve them because they were just out of reach and unattainable. So be realistic with your goals. Now, on the other hand, if your goals are too easy, or they're too small, then you will not be motivated to achieve them. So make sure that they're not too high and not too low. So you got to find that balance. Okay, it's important to find a goal that challenges you but is also achievable. So you do want to challenge yourself but don't set something that you'll never gonna reach.
Mariana Thomas 11:48
So when it comes to desire, it is also important to be mindful of your emotions. Yes, if you're constantly feeling frustrated or unhappy, because you want something that you can't have, then it might be the time to rethink your desires. You know, why do you want to stay there and want that thing that you can't have and you're being so unhappy, and your emotions are up and down, and you insist on having that. So you got to pause, be mindful, rethink your desires, and make a decision or let it go. Maybe not now, maybe later. When it's something that you can't truly achieve, that is going to destroy your emotions and make you feel even more unhappy than you already are because you haven't achieved it.
Mariana Thomas 13:02
Okay, so let's move on with the ingredients. Finally, what are the three ingredients that you must have when it comes to desiring something? When you desire something, you got to prepare for that. So preparation, because what's gonna happen when you finally have obtained or that thing is here? Okay, maybe you're not ready to receive it. In order to desire something, you must be prepared to receive it. You must believe that you are worthy of having what you desire and that you can have it, okay, that you can have it if you wanted that bad enough.
Mariana Thomas 14:07
You must also be clear about what is it that you desire. Get clear on your wants and focus on that. Prepare, because when they come your way, you got to be ready. You got to be ready because sometimes the universe sends us that thing that we desire that we don't know what to do with it. What are you gonna do if you're not ready? It's gonna slip on your hands. So preparation is the first ingredient.
Mariana Thomas 14:52
What is the second ingredient that you must have when it comes to desire? I love this one because I'm very good at practicing this one and it's detachment. Remember that we talked about attachment. Now, the ingredient that you must have is detachment. Detach from the outcome. Okay? Desiring something, wanting something that I want you to prepare and I want you to attach to the process, not to the outcome. Once you have clarity about what it is, you won and have prepared yourself to receive it, you know, remember number one is preparation, you must let go of the attachment to the outcome. So, you prepare to receive it and you let go.
Mariana Thomas 15:58
Okay, number two, detach. Desire is about control of getting what you want, right it's about opening yourself up to the possibility of having what you want, but you must be willing to let go or you need certainty and allow the universe to provide it for you allow the universe to bring that to you. Let go. Detach.
Mariana Thomas 16:37
And number three is acceptance. The final step is to reset that desire. You must accept that what you desire is possible and that it's coming your way. So, accept it. Believe it. Allow yourself to feel the excitement and the joy of having what you want. Be open to receive it and enjoy the journey along the way. Yes, when you accept it, you say, "Okay, that's what I desire, I accept it, I receive it." and allow it, feel it, taste it, touch it, then you got it. It is important to remember that not everything in life is under our control and sometimes we just have to let go right, but you also have to accept it. So, once you let go, because you detach, you reset that desire or whatever it is that you ask for.
Mariana Thomas 18:18
And ultimately, the key to balance in happiness, you know, because you got to find that middle here, is to find contentment with what you have. Okay? Even though you desired all these things, are you contented with what you have right now? When you are able to be happy with what you have, you will not be as focused on your desires and you will be able to enjoy life more because sometimes, and I will say, I will say a lot of times, and I see a lot of people, I'm probably including myself, that we want things that we want this and we want that, and we want it now and we are so focused on the things that we desire that we forget living in the now, living in that right now and looking around and see the things that we have that we haven't even probably enjoy, because yes, we want more. And we don't appreciate what we have right now.
Mariana Thomas 19:48
So, my friends, these are the basic ingredients for creating desire and opening yourself up to receiving what you want in life. If you follow these steps, you will be well on your way to getting anything that you desire.
Mariana Thomas 20:10
So let me go back to the three ingredients, preparation. In order to desire something, you must prepare to receive it. Detachment. It is important to remember that not everything in life is under our control. And like so many times, we just had to let, you know, we got to detach. And number three, we need to accept. So acceptance is the final step. It's to allow yourself to feel that excitement and the joy. The joy of having what you want to let go, leave, and accept. Beautiful. And those my friends are the steps. These are the basic ingredients.
Mariana Thomas 21:10
So if you're looking to start desiring, and to really open yourself up to receive, I will consider offering you this, I want to offer you these steps. And I want you to consider taking them, I want you to consider applying them every time you desire something.
Mariana Thomas 21:40
And if this episode was helpful, please share, please share with your friends and your families. Click on that first link in the show notes. Download your mindful guide for 2022 and write your desires there and then you can go through the three steps. You can write it down. Yeah. "How am I going to prepare for this particular desire? What do I need to let go? And how am I going to set this?". Pretty easy. You can write down in your free mindful guide the three ingredients that you need to do in order to desire this year, next year, whenever, anytime. Okay, totally free for you. It's a very powerful form to help you reach your goals this year and don't forget that I have a surprise for those that are downloading the guide right now.
Mariana Thomas 22:53
So with that, I'm gonna let you go my friends. Thank you so much for listening. I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I will see you on the next one.
Mariana Thomas 23:07
Thank you for listening everyone and don't forget to go to the show notes and click to download your FREE Mindful and Energetic Living Guide. Also, don't forget to share this podcast with your friends, your families, and everyone out there. I want to get this out there to everyone. So thank you for your support, and I'll see you next week.