When we start planning our goals, we feel really excited because of thinking about the things that we get from winning and succeeding. However, when we are in the process of achieving these goals, there are some things that hold us back. We then get stuck in a cycle and end up not really getting where we want and where we should be.
In this episode, I talk about some habits that are holding us back and are preventing us from achieving our goals. This is going to be part one of this topic. The last part will be on the next episode.
Let’s get to it!
Episode 55 at a glance...
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Mariana Thomas 0 0:00
Hello, everyone, welcome back to the Mindfully Recharged Podcast with your host, Mariana Thomas. In today's episode, part one of habits holding you back from success. So without further ado, let's get to the episode and I'll see you there.
Speaker 2 00:23
Welcome to Mindfully Recharged with Mariana Thomas. In this podcast, Mariana brings you mindful conversations in people that will develop and recharge you from the inside out, so that you can increase productivity in your personal and professional life. This is Mindfully Recharged.
Mariana Thomas 00:44
Welcome, everyone. In today's episode, we are going to talk about habits that are holding you back from your success. We are going to do part one, then there will be part two. I'm going to do eight today and we do eight more in part two. You know, one of the things that are so interesting about habits is that habits can be good, but habits can also move us towards any direction that is not the one that we desire. So we either build habits that support us as we move toward goals or we build bad habits that undermine the ability to achieve and succeed in our goals and that's what I want to emphasize today.
Mariana Thomas 01:45
So one thing that is for sure, is that whenever we decide we're going to go in a good direction or a bad direction, it’s really difficult to reach your dreams if you are leaving that side of your habits, okay? So whether you choose good or bad, you have to do it the right way.
Mariana Thomas 02:11
So let's go for number one and number one is one of those that I think I have been suffering since I was a little girl. You know, it's wanting to get that approval from others. Someone that will tell you, “Yeah, you are going in the right direction.”, you know, and the thing is that if you are focused on what others are thinking about you, or what others are going to say about you, you aren't listening to yourself, and the first person that you need to listen to, is you. Yes, if you will tend to gain approval from others, it’s going to hold you back. I think it held me back at some point because I was asking everyone, “What do you think it is? or “What do you think of that?”. And yeah, it's okay to ask and I have been learning that asking is very important and I'm doing that way more these days, but asking for approval is not the right thing to do sometimes because it can hold you back from succeeding and holds you back from moving forward. So there are times when it is good to get the opinion of others, especially if you're working with a coach or a mentor. You want that guidance for sure, 100%, but you don't need constant approval from everyone that's around you. You are your own person. You are your own person. Let me repeat that and eventually, you're going to have to stand up on your own and go for it, make a move that is going to move the needle for you. So it's really important that we stop asking for approval. You know, and as I mentioned, it’s good for you to ask if you're working with a mentor. Maybe you want to talk to your best friend, that always is a good thing, but not always asking for approval to move forward.
Mariana Thomas 04:40
Number two, this one guys, I probably was a master of this one, blaming other people for things that were not happening for me. That is huge. That is huge when you realize that you have been blaming others, you know because you did not move the needle for yourself. So shifting the blame off of your own shoulders is not a good thing, in fact, you know, it’s not good to attribute shortcomings to someone or something else, and instead of making excuses, start taking action. So one thing that I had to do for myself was like, “Wait a minute, who is responsible here for me?”. So I needed to stop looking for a reason why the things were not happening, why wasn't it everybody else's fault but mine, and shift and really take responsibility for me. So no matter what the circumstances are, you have control over your actions and it's really important to understand that this is the beginning of the year, this is when we start moving the needle forward, and in the direction that may be, last year wasn't happening, that maybe we did not see the results that we were looking for. I am certainly working on myself this year really, really hard, you guys. I’m going through a deep transformation and I am extremely grateful for it, extremely grateful. So I can't blame other people, because things were not happening. Start taking action. Start looking for reasons why is it your fault and consider what changes you should make. Consider who is the problem or what is the problem, because you have control over your actions and over the decisions that you make for yourself. So we get it to change this mentality of everybody else's fault but ours, because we are so good with everything that we do. That's not true. So turning around that negativity, because it's negative when we think that other people are doing things to us and changing for positive thoughts and positivity that is going to take us in the direction for success and that is number two, my friends.
Mariana Thomas 07:53
Now let's go to number three. You know, I always, every single year, do my vision board, define my goals, what I want to accomplish, and what it is that I want to do. I have a lot of dreams and things that I want to do and they’re usually pretty big. Yeah, many people have an idea like me, a concept or a dream and all those things that we want to bring into reality, but without a firm plan, and especially a clear vision, we have no way, you have no way of achieving anything and this year, my friends, I decided, and I hope that you are too, that I am going to make sure that my goals, my visions are well defined and not just vague but defined goals. Then you put it on a vision board. A well-defined goal is the first thing you need to do especially at the beginning of the year and step forward into doing the work to make things happen because it's truly about creating that road map that is going to get us there. It's going to guide us to the final destination, probably it’s not a final destination, but it is a destination where we want to go and we want to keep moving forward because it's never-ending. It's never-ending we are always learning. We are always growing. We are always seeking to be better. Without a plan to pull from, we can't get there. We can't get there without a plan, a defined and clear plan. So if you are trying to achieve your goals, undefined goals are not going to get you there and that one thing, they hold us back. Okay, so that is number three.
Mariana Thomas 10:20
Number four, ha, this one is really important and it's my first value because I feel like without this, there's nothing we can have and it's neglecting your health. Letting yourself go or falling into bad habits, maybe you are not taking care of your eating habits, you're not moving your body, you're not sleeping well, you're not getting enough rest. You know you did not de-stress, you have a lot of stress, maybe there is an illness that you have, and you're not paying attention to it. This can be a real impact on your ability to perform to get to your goal. So it's very important that you take charge of your health and that is something that, for me has been crucial this last couple of years and we can talk about that later about what has been happening, right, but I have been working really hard and improving my asthma, improving other things that were happening with my health, but if, without that, I can't accomplish any other things. I can't think about having these huge dreams and goals if you don't feel good. If you're not going to be able to do them, you can’t enjoy the fruit from that goal, the fruit from the hard work. So if you’re busy, busy, busy working and working really hard and you take life seriously, you know, and you're not paying attention to your health, you are probably going to miss out on everything else and you're going to miss out maybe family reunions, friends, events, a vacation, and things that you need to do and that my friends are number four and we got four more to go.
Mariana Thomas 12:37
Okay, this one. You know, I remember, before coming to the United States, I was thinking about this all the time and there's that little voice inside of you, that has that self-doubt when you are about to make a decision, and you have dreams and goals that you want to accomplish or dreams that you don't even know about, but you are about to make a move, to go somewhere to do something new and if you doubt yourself, you can kill the dream and the goal to be successful on wherever decision is that you need to make. So that negative thinking and that fear of whatever is going to happen, you know, maybe you're going to get rejected, somebody is going to say something, or they are not going to accept you. You know you’re constantly doubting yourself and questioning yourself about your goals and your dreams. That's not going to allow you to fulfill that success. So the feeling of doubting yourself, a feeling of what people are going to say, or “Should I make this decision?”. That is a huge one to hold us back. So don't let yourself get stuck. Don't allow yourself to get stuck wherever you are, you know, don't get stuck in a negative thought and in this circle because we go back and forth, “Should I move with or should I not move?” Don't let yourself do that. You cannot succeed if you are holding yourself back if you are doubting yourself, and asking yourself the same question, “Should I do it?”, you know, and if you can't get an answer right away and you keep doubting, that's not going to happen. So one thing that I actually do when I have self-doubt is I ask myself the question, and then I pause and wait. Wait for the answer and if I don't get an answer, then I wait a little longer, but I don't ask myself the question over and over and over again, or I doubt myself forever, but I'm going to make some kind of decision, but I'm not going to allow myself to get stuck. I get to make a decision. So I want you to make a decision, either good or bad, but make one.
Mariana Thomas 15:38
Okay, so let's go to number six. Procrastination. Yes, I have been a master of this one. Oh, my God, we can spend a lot of time on this one. You know procrastination is broadly one of those things that we all have been in a relationship with procrastination because there are a lot of distractions in the world. You know, these days, there are so many places to be and apps to be on and TV shows, oh, my God, I would just look in my TV and subscriptions, everything that we have and I have so many apps on my phone, I mean, in my TV, that I will need a day with probably 100 hours to explore everything that's in there and what will happen is that I will procrastinate in everything else that I get to do and what's going to happen, is It’s going to hold me back. It’s not going to allow you to move forward, right? Oh, me, if I made that decision, it’s now going to allow you to move forward with the things you got to do because you're going to be involved with everything else. So procrastination is going to be your best friend if you allow that to happen. So if you are afraid of taking the next step, you will eventually be overtaken by I guess paralysis, yeah, we can say that you're just going to be paralyzed and I think it is what procrastination does to us, is that we paralyze ourselves and I want you to be a leader of yourself. A leader is someone who knows when to take off, to spring into action, to take that lead, to open that door, because, at some point, you need to start planning and start moving. Start moving, start doing and that's why I had to tell myself so many times, stop staying there and move and I remember when I saw this, and I mean, I think I saw this on social media, “You are not a tree if you don't like where you are, move.”, and that is so true. I was laughing because I have been in that position where you’re just paralyzed and that is procrastination, which is just staying in the same place.
Mariana Thomas 18:40
So let's go to number seven, my friend, and this one is so related to procrastination because it's when you are feeding your destruction, you get destructed with anything and one thing I have to say here is that we all are guilty of this one. You know, we get to scroll down through social media and are spending quite a bit of time there. Oh my god, we see these videos that are so cute and so fun and I'm guilty daily, myself here. You know, I was watching a reel the other day and it was so fun because I love music and I love dancing and the video was so fun that I just kept watching it over and over and move to the next video and watch it over and over because there was so much fun and then I asked myself, “What am I doing? Oh my god, I can't go do what I needed to do.”. So distractions, yeah, it's very easy to do and we feed them by staying there. When your attention is pulled in these directions and you know different things like we are now we are so distracted by so many things. You're probably asking yourself right now, “Oh, yes, I am, too, I know what you were talking about, Mariana.”, and when that happens, it’s really hard to focus, it's really hard to focus your thoughts and to move forward. So I want you to pay attention, to where you are feeding your distractions and when you find that, I want you to stop. I want you to stop feeding them and you shift towards your achievements, towards the things that you want to do. When you find yourself bouncing from one thing to the other, stop and ask yourself the question, “What do I want to do at this moment?”, and take a deep breath, you know, take a deep breath and inhale and exhale and just be there, be there and be aware of what just happened and calm yourself down. It’s just like having that monkey mind, you know when you are moving from one tree to the other and then stay, you are more moving from one thought to the other thought or to the other thoughts that you are doing. So slow down and calm yourself down. Your mind, your body, your heart, everything now, and that is going to help you to increase your productivity, to think about what you're doing, and to take this step that you need to take in order to achieve your goals or to continue working on what you need to work.
Mariana Thomas 21:58
The last one for today is putting yourself down. What I mean by this is when you diminish your own self. You know, it's okay and it's not okay. It's okay and it's not okay. When others do it, we react, right? We get a reaction like, “How dare you!”, but when you do it to yourself and you engage in that negative self-talk and self-thinking. Imagine that, I think it’s worse when you do it to yourself than when others do it to you. Oh, what about this, when you do it to others and you put other people down, that is not a good habit either, because what we're having at that moment, is that we are inviting negative things into our life, negative things into our thoughts, and we tell ourselves, diminishing words. So imagine taking big actions when you are telling yourself diminishing words that are not going to happen. It doesn't correlate, but if you tell yourself positive things, guess what's gonna happen, you are going to get self-motivated to move forward. You're going to get self-motivated, to go forward, to achieve what you need to do. Nothing is going to hold you back because the best shield you know that you can have is you? There is no other motivation out there, but your own motivation and telling yourself in a critic is not going to help. So let's replace those negative habits with those positive ones and let’s focus not on what went wrong or what's going wrong but what is going right. What is happening? You know what is happening right now, even when you go in through challenges, and right now that's exactly what's happening to me. I have tried applying this one to myself so high right now because I'm doing it when I'm with my coach and mentor and she's challenging me and she's making me cry. I'm telling myself on the inside. “Yes, thank you. Thank you universe, I asked for this, I asked to be challenged because I want to get to a different place.”. It’s like when you are in the desert, imagine yourself in the desert, and you're trying to find a safe place to get to, but you don't know how you're going to get there. The only thing that you know is that you are going to go through a lot of obstacles and you're going to have to walk long distances to get there and you're going to be sweating and your body is going to be tired, and maybe you don't have any water on your way there and you're challenging yourself because you want to get to that safe area. So you can save yourself. So you can be alive when you get there and when you get there, you can raise your hands and you say, I made it. I made it.
Mariana Thomas 26:14
That, my friends, are the eight habits that are holding us back from achieving success and in the next episode, we're going to go over eight more. I want you to really repeat this episode and go over it again. So number one was to stop asking for approval. Stop blaming others for the things that you are not accomplishing. Stop undefining your goals, so that means you got to define them. Pay attention to your health. Stop doubting. Stop doubting yourself. Procrastination, number six. Number seven, stop feeding all those distractions that we have in our lives. And, stop talking down to yourself. Number eight, stop talking down to yourself and lift yourself up and take yourself to the top and that is it for today, my friend.
Mariana Thomas 27:37
I hope that this episode was valuable to you. I hope that this really really got in your head and you are going to apply this I want you to listen to this episode more than once because I want you to start working on them. Okay, and do the opposite and do the opposite, and thank you for listening. Thank you for spending this time with me. Thank you for taking the time to add value to your life and if this was helpful to you, please share this episode with your friends, with your families, with a co-worker, with anyone that you know. Send us a message to let us know how you are enjoying the podcast and like us on social media. Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, you know come on over to Facebook. I'm going to reopen my Facebook group so I will let you know and with that, my friends, I will see you on the next episode. Have a fantastic rest of your day. Bye-bye.
Mariana Thomas 28:51
Thank you for listening everyone and don't forget to go to the show notes and click to download your FREE Mindful and Energetic Living Guide. Also, don't forget to share this podcast with your friends, your families, and everyone out there. I want to get this out there to everyone. So thank you for your support and I'll see you next week.